May 7, 2011

Again. Boring Day. -_-

its quite a long time i did not post anything. i'm so too tied with my routine. hospital seems to be my second home i thought. so i did not have time to post anything. looking for a while to my follower list; 12 following. i smiled. its mockingly funny i thought. thanks for following my messy blog. but seriously its nothing interesting here. instead of i keep talking about my life and people in my surroundings. but if u find it interesting, genuinely thanks from me. thumb up for u peps!

i keep on thinking. what actually my life should be. everyday seems to be same. no changes. and the worse part i start to give up with this fucking things. sometimes i feel so regret with my decision taking this path in my way. deeply regret. but then what i can do. even it takes my tears, nothing will change. nothing i could do. so i still here. still stand and look at the way with sort of question on my mind whether i should stop here or keep on walk. i freakin stuck now. it makes me drowned actually. what i should do????

when i was young girl, i thought that life is easy. got food, shelter and love from my mum and dad it is enough for me. nope. i am totally wrong. it is my view when i still have pony hair. yeah. should be like that. everyday is joy for me. but now, it very diffirent. when i grown up, i realised that the hopes and dreams is burdening my life. and now it mess up my   head. sometimes i feel people change and i was left behind. i try to walk besides them but i can't. i just can't. so useless am i. yeah. u such a useless girl.

but the point is. should i give up now??should i end all this?? NO. the answer will be same. its NO. i do not want to break the heart that counting on me. i don't want to see their tears. let me just the one feel the pain but not them. i rather to sacrifices myself rather than to see they were dissapointed on me. so i wake up from the bad dream. i trying to get up again even so many times i was fall and cried alone. for the sake for them i smile again. smile and hoping for miracle. even i know it was possible. nevermind. i keep the strenght until i finished all this things. i need it. i do need it. 

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