i keep on thinking. what actually my life should be. everyday seems to be same. no changes. and the worse part i start to give up with this fucking things. sometimes i feel so regret with my decision taking this path in my way. deeply regret. but then what i can do. even it takes my tears, nothing will change. nothing i could do. so i still here. still stand and look at the way with sort of question on my mind whether i should stop here or keep on walk. i freakin stuck now. it makes me drowned actually. what i should do????
when i was young girl, i thought that life is easy. got food, shelter and love from my mum and dad it is enough for me. nope. i am totally wrong. it is my view when i still have pony hair. yeah. should be like that. everyday is joy for me. but now, it very diffirent. when i grown up, i realised that the hopes and dreams is burdening my life. and now it mess up my head. sometimes i feel people change and i was left behind. i try to walk besides them but i can't. i just can't. so useless am i. yeah. u such a useless girl.
but the point is. should i give up now??should i end all this?? NO. the answer will be same. its NO. i do not want to break the heart that counting on me. i don't want to see their tears. let me just the one feel the pain but not them. i rather to sacrifices myself rather than to see they were dissapointed on me. so i wake up from the bad dream. i trying to get up again even so many times i was fall and cried alone. for the sake for them i smile again. smile and hoping for miracle. even i know it was possible. nevermind. i keep the strenght until i finished all this things. i need it. i do need it.